Community Living

This year, 2017, was the year when I definitely decided to take a path of my own, and deviate from the plan that was laid out for me by society. I call it the year of experimentation, because in 2017 I took two big and important decisions for myself.

One: Me and my girlfriend moved in a house together with 7 other friends (baby included), so that we learn how to live as a community.

Two: I decided to give more energy to my personal projects like trainings and facilitating in non-formal education, writing and just enjoying life in general, and because of this I started working part-time.

In this article I write shortly about community living, and about how things are so far down the road.

                                       Night fire in our back yard garden, while celebrating the birthday of Maria. (House member)
Decision

I vividly remember how, before moving in the house, we were asking ourselves "Do we really want this? Do we want to give up personal comfort and personal space to live with others? What if it will not work, what if we won't get along together? What if..?".

The "What if" mentality can help, but in this case there was no easy choice. There was no way to see the future, only some possibilities. And so we decided to take the leap. The leap of faith.

I had a very interesting dream that night of a giant serpent that was shedding of its skin, and I understood that It was time for me, as it was the case of the snake, to shed of my old way of being and move on. And so I did.


We left our cozy apartment, our comfort zone, our life in two, for something bigger but yet unknown and risky.


Present 

We now live with these wonderful people, in a rented house. Were we have a beautiful garden from which we get to eat fresh vegetables, and in which we sometimes stay up until late night gathered around the fire (or candles, because it's hard to get firewood in the city) and talk about life.

The community dynamics are especially interesting, because each of us has its own needs that must be meet, we all have different jobs, from engineering to psychology, freelancing, trainers and facilitators and working from home. But all in all, it works. We can have the privacy when we need it, and we can also have companionship when we seek it.

Living in a community also means sharing. We learn to share our belongings and our food, but we also learn how to share our knowledge, and in this way we learn to live more efficiently. We all have our input to the group, and we all benefit because of it.

The house and the garden demands responsibility from the group, and it's definitely easier to maintain them for a group, than let's say a couple or a family. We share responsibilities, and it's easier this way. We learn that shared responsibility is important, we all have our roles to play, and such is in a healthy family, group or even society for that matter.

Of course that we also encounter obstacles. Like that one time when a group member decided to move from the house, and we had to find someone else suitable and wanting to live with us. Or other times when we had disagreements with the house owners who live on the same street as us (that is one city closer than we would want them to live). But the important thing is that we learn how to overcome obstacles, as a group, and so we become stronger.

Almost 4 months have passed since we have moved together, and there are still a great deal of things that we need to learn and experience as a group, but at least I know now how I want to live my life, and that is in a community of people were we support and learn from each other.

Boredom and Wonder

Boredom is to our emotions, what hunger is to our stomach.

Boredom is the opposite of interest. Same old, same old. No emotional response, no intensity. No fire, not even smoke.

 

When we look at it closely, boredom seems to describe the state of our feelings, and not the actual experience. An interesting fact is that we normaly use expressions such as: "Walking is boring." and not "I feel this boring feeling when I think of walking."

As to why do we experience this 'unpleasant' feeling?

We might experience boredom because we humans (at least the majority of people I know of), tend to think too much (and lose contact with our emotions, among other things), instead of actually living an experience. We think the experience in our heads, over and over again. We make assumptions, we think we know, and so we create this (what feels like) ‘boring’ train of thought that’s always activating when having a somewhat similar experience, and so we miss the point, we miss the experience. We’re hitting a dead end.

 

It also has to do with our way of living. To many things to do, quantity over quality. One can go [almost] anywhere in the world in less than 24 hours, provided that one has the $ to do so, or at least one can watch a video of the desired place.

Smartphones, technology, videos, people to meet and see, movies to watch, planes to catch, games to play, and so on. I believe they all (used in an immature manner, and we all know how to do that) contribute to our growing inability to wonder, and instead we become addicted to entertainment.

 

But what might be the opposite of boredom?

Wonder. We can learn how to wonder again. We can learn how to be grateful. We can observe our suroundings, in silence. We can look at the clouds for a few minutes a day, and observe, appreciate. We can gaze at the stars, now and then. Where’s the rush? We’re all going to die anyway.

One can eventually manage his attention, and learn how to be wherever he is, not only with his body, but with his mind and senses also.

This ability to wonder, of course, requires time. And it might (ironically) seem boring to learn it. It might require of one to study it’s own boredom, to become comfortable with it, to plunge into it, and find new ways to experience.

But what's the alternative?

As I said before, Boredom is to our emotions, what hunger is to our stomach. And we have the option to consume junk food (so many entertaining and shallow experiences) quickly with long term and negative effects on our mental and emotional health, or learn how to cook and eat healthy food (Learn how to have/spend quality time, even in our most trivial affairs).

It takes many years for a person to learn how to be bored. We’re not getting bored as children, we all can agree on that, but then we get introduced to technology and cartoons (or whatever many and diverse distractions there may be) were everything happens in an instant, and so the outer world becomes dull in the view of our thinking -and we identify very much with our thinking-, et voila!

What’s the alternative to Wonder? Well this. An increasing hunger for more, and it’s either that we 'eat' and rush our way through experiences towards a zombie way of life, or feeling bored when not doing it.

The magical forest

          There I was back in 2012, reading the Master Key System. The one book who definitely nudged my life in a new direction. I started heading into a magical 'forest', were I became aware of power, of responsibility over how my life unfolds, and over my choices. 

Choices, yes -choices-, I was made aware of them.

Choice over when to talk, and when to be silent, for example. I noticed a great deal of people who don't choose over when to talk and when to be silent, it's a thing that happens outside of their conscious control.

Awareness of my own automatic processes, changing of habits and so on. Personal development. All of this happened really quickly like a recap of things that were right there all along, very natural to me. Then I became restless on the personal development path, and started longing for more sincerity and transparency, started longing for something that was more true to me, so the path of personal development transformed itself in to a spiritual path. 

In 2014 I was still deep in the forest, full of questions without answer, trying to understand and master myself. Religion was not the answer for me, beliefs were not the answer. I wanted to experiment and to know,  in contrast to believing. Although I came to appreciate the religious message, and find truth in most religions that I know of. I appreciate the message and the principles found in them to the degree that I realize them as being true for me. I have very little interest in the institutions of religion and the constrains and limitations that people attach to being part of such a group of a religious order, although I understand and respect their purpose.

Deep in the forest, disillusionment started happening. It was very painful. Because I had to learn and unlearn many things that once brought me comfort. Like a live surgery happening when you are fully awake, but this was taking place mentally and emotionally.

The same year I joined an online School of Esoteric Studies (this was a place were paradoxically,  religion and science were seen as twin sisters, and the great wound between them was healed) with the hope of gaining answers to many of my questions. In other words, I joined the school having a lot of expectations. The frustration and the pain of not knowing were very present because of this, but slowly and gradually they started transforming into understanding and patience, I started becoming comfortable with the great mystery of life and gaining patience in experimenting with it. 

In this particular school they were teaching many things, but the student was alone  in his understanding and totally responsible for it. Reading, meditating and service (to your family, to your community, to humanity, to our Planet and so on) were key points in the school.

Group consciousness was something that kept appearing in the school's teachings. I was interested in the subject, and asked many questions on the subject and did not received a satisfactory answer, partly because I wanted to experience this kind of awareness myself. Again, I wanted to realize the answer, not merely know it theoretically.

Fast forward to april 2017, were me and my better half chose to live in a house with 7 wonderful friends. This is were I am now starting to understand and experience this group consciousness. To willfully renounce some of my personal freedom and limitations, in order to experience the group freedom (and limitations). Learning to be aware of others needs, and extend my gratitude and pain to the group. In other words, becoming an extended family.

And there I was this morning, before going to work, asking the group "Who wants to participate with $ in buying a bike kit?". We all have bikes and might use such a kit, and one of us knows how to repair bikes. It's cheaper, easier to buy and use such a kit as a group, then as an individual. And so I remembered about the group consciousness, and how part of the story began.

And here I am further down the road, at the -Extended Family- part of the story.

I wish you well on your own path.